SUZ!!!!!

hey babe I'm in Houston now, but I can't get my address book to work so I can't find your email. could you email me and then I'll emailyou back? I'll check later today. we just got in town yesterday and we aren't supposed to leave till the 2nd.

I'm sorry if we don't get in contact while we are here. I thought you were going to be in New Jersey with your family, otherwise I would ahve made arrangements to see you.....then you could rub my baby belly : )

anyway, I hope we get to talk soon!!!
loveyoulots!
manda

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Travis, The blob, Jessica and I are all heading out for Houston this morning!!!

Travis is out getting a new tire or two for the car. I'm about to do the last little bit of dishes and writing out care instructions for the cats for our friend and future brother in law, Matt.

I'm tired already! Can't wait to get to Houston though.
This'll be the last post till after the new year...Sorry fans!

Merry Christmas and Happy new year to everyone!! We hope you all have a great time spent with family and friends. Wish we could all be together but we are in spirit!!!
Love you all!!

Kicks and Giggles

More like raking, actually! I've been paying close attention to the flutterings of the littleling since I realized I was feeling them. I think I've got it down as to the differences of the movements.

That bursting bubble feeling I think is a Kick or a punch. The slight less comfortable stretching feeling, I think, is the little one dragging it's Knee, Heel, Elbow....Some sort of pointy body part...Of course most parts are pointy on baby right now. Testing the boundaries maybe?

Travis has even felt the baby move but just barely. I'll feel movement and grab his hand and put it there, and he'll feel a lump that moves away and then can't feel it anymore. He has to put a bit of pressure on the area to feel it but I think it's neat that he can.

It makes me feel better that he can, too, because then I don't feel crazy LOL
that's all for now

I think I'm feeling something

I do. I think I'm feeling the baby move, it's like a quake in my belleh. It's like a drop of water and one ripple moving away from the drop point. It's like a bubble bursting and the sound wave moving thru.

It's neat.

I really want Travis and other people to be able to feel it too, mostly Travis right now. This must have been what I was feeling the other day too. I thought it was gas, I thought my bowels were gearing up for diarrhea. But nothing, I guess the baby was doing somersaults I could feel?

Weird....Cool.....

I don't' know how to react to this LOL

Here's what I might look like now

http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/belly_5months.asp

I think I look like the first one. I'll see if I can get Travis to take a picture of me, so you can see which I look more like.

I've had two different things said to me of my size: "You're pregnant? You're TINY!!!"
and, "Are you sure you've only got one in there? Maybe you're further along than you think."

In the first trimester, the girls at work were all telling me that since I was so sick, I must be having a girl. Now just into my second trimester, they are telling me because I'm "carrying low" I'm having a boy.

I don't care so long as the baby is healthy, and happy. That's all that matters to me. I had leg cramps last night. THAT was fun but they didn't last long, thank goodness.

My belly is getting hairy, actually I'm not sure if it's that my belly is getting hairier or if the hair I have is getting darker...That's probably it....And my belly button is itchy!!!

Anyway I will try to get a picture of me/us up soon!!!

Warning!!! possible TMI

My nipples have been sore and flaky. Not so much flaky that was only once......ANYWAY

They are mostly sore and itchy. When I go to scratch the itch, it hurts.

So does anyone have any suggestions for how I should care for my nipples?
Is there something I should do to be preparing my nipps for breastfeeding?
yes I said(typed) nipps.

I've looked online and none of the websites I visit say anything about it....So any info anyone has will be appreciated.
THANKS!!!

This is so wrong!

I work for a national Toy store who's name shall remain unnamed....IT Sucks! It's nice to have the job and make the paycheck; however, this one store is run soooo badly it amazes me that it's still open. People are hired and they work long enough to get the stuff they want to get either by stealing it or with their discounts and then quit...Usually by stealing.

Then there is the management.... They use petty cash for pretty much anything they want to use it on, like personal stuff, going out to lunch and such. They'll lie to customers and then pass them off to other managers who fix the problem, but receive no repercussions for the confrontation. The store manager is very rude, but not just to certain people. I think he has a personality disorder, either that or he hates all mankind. He treats everyone like they are an idiot and ruining his day by asking a question.

Unless he's cleaning up another managers mess.

All the managers reuse coupons, which they aren't supposed to do, because they are kept track of at corporate. Does this seem to be a good way to run a business? I don't think it is, but somehow there it is.

Corporate doesn't seem to have a clue either!! We are only allowed to have so many people on the schedule. They don't make allowances for the holiday season. So we are constantly short of help, between that and the people who stay long enough to steal everything they want...We are really in need of help. Which the customers are all sure to point out to us, which of course is news to us right? Well I can't complain about them, they don't know how screwed up this place is.....Most of them seem to understand to a degree that it's not our fault in particular, we are just available to them to complain to.

To all those customers who vaguely understand what we are going through, THANK YOU!!! It's really very appreciated when you don't vent on us.

Anyway, I was asked to come in to work today. Short shift only four hours, then yesterday I was asked to call in before I came in, because the Manager had gotten a nasty letter about going over hours from corporate.
I called in at 1030. I was on hold till 1125.

ALMOST AN HOUR!!!
I can't blame my coworkers for that entirely because the phone they use to answer, hangs up from time to time. You could be talking to a customer and it blips off. Sometimes the customer calls back. Their reaction is usually one of two: understanding or incredibly pissed off...Especially when it happens multiple times.

It's been like that since I started, which was early summer. Nothing has been done to fix it, people have looked at it and it's been taken off the wall a few times, but then put back on the wall and it still the problem exists.

There's more, but I'm tired of talking about it.

It's official!!

Yep I'm now in my fourth month of pregnancy. My risk of miscarriage has greatly decreased...Not that I was worried. Family will be pleased to hear that Travis and I have decided to find out the sex of the baby. Our next ultrasound is on January 6th, so kid willing, we'll find out what we are having then!!! Any guesses before we find out?

Things are a little rough right now, you'd think with Christmas a few days away I'd get more hours at work, but no. So it'll be a slim gift year for us, giving wise.... I was really bummed out about this the other day. Of course I know everyone understands, but it's giving that makes Christmas that much more fun.

Really all that matters is that I spend time with family. It's our year with Trav's folks and we are so excited to see them!!! They've moved into a new house and it'll be fun to see the new place too!! Travis can't wait to get out of Savannah and see his folks.

Lately he's been feeling really bummed about stuff too. He's afraid he's not going to get a job and he'll be stuck working at B&N forever. I told him not to worry, that won't happen. How do I know this, you ask? Well if you know Travis you know it to be true also. He's just got too much drive to do what he wants to do, too much talent. Anyway, I know I'm right too, because when he's been down like this before I've told him how it's really going to be and it's so far turned out the way I've said.....

Am I always right? Well....In this case I am, if you look at past events...

Anyway, being bummed occasionally aside, I think this will be the slimmist year we'll have. I think things are going to be looking up for us. Something, (besides the glorious day of our child's birth,) wonderful and not too surprisingly will happen for us job wise. I think Travis will get hired on at a good paying job he'll enjoy and we'll leave Savannah.

This is my feeling/prediction about the job thing anyway.
Hope You don't get mad about me posting your being bummed babe.

Lets just be happy to know that our blob is healthy and growing and know that we'll be able to take care of him or her no matter what. Things may be slim but we've done slim before, we've gotten through we'll get through this time too!!

Reassurance and Irrational thoughts

When my sister Paige was pregnant with my niece Sylvie, She used to confide worries and concerns she had about being a good mom and stuff. I always told her she's going to be an excellent mother...How could she not be with such an excellent role model she has in our mother (the best mom there is...Besides my mom in law). She always seemed doubtful.

I understood at the time that she was just hormonal and having irrational thoughts. She never admitted it to me but that's what I felt was really her problem. So far she has been an excellent mom. Just like I knew she would be.

Now that I'm pregnant. I was lying there on our futon, worrying that I was eating enough and that my baby was getting the best I could give him/her. I heard the heartbeat at my last doctors visit and it was strong and regular, and that was reassuring. It's not the same as seeing the baby on ultrasound.
We aren't due to get our next till January. Thus begins my rant of irrational feelings about stuff.....

Until then, I'm afraid I'll worry whether or not the baby is growing at the usual rate. And is actually there. It may be silly to some people but I always thought I'd have this neat communication with my developing baby. I dreamed before I was pregnant that my baby would give me reports on how it was doing....Kind of like "Hey mom!! Guess what mom? MOM!! I'm sucking my thumb now!! Hey mom I can hear when dad talks to me!!"

You know, that sort of thing.

So far nothing like that has happened. Now I'm thinking my baby is letting me know that this is how things are going to be. Just because I think it's going to be some way doesn't me that's the way things are going to go. Which I know, but...
So fine I won't get upset about that. How could I? My baby is it's own person it's going to experience things it's own way and in it's own time. Which is fine too, that's the way things are supposed to be.

ANYWAY, so I've just been trying to listen to my body. Let it tell me that things are fine. Unfortunately, my body seems to be siding with the baby. It's not really my body anymore. (I hear this is a common complaint of pregnant women.) I guess it's a good thing right? I should just sit back and let things go the way they are supposed to go.

It's kind of getting in the way of work...Or my mind is helping my body get in the way of work. Honestly I'm not happy at either of my jobs. Is this a normal pregnant person reaction too? I just get annoyed with how things are run. At both jobs!! I'd love to be able to stay home (and go crazy!!??) or find a nice easy job where I don't have to wait on customers....Lately my customers have been very nice and patient with me, thank god.

My complaint when it comes to customers is that I feel that way I've always felt: I need to help them quickly and efficiently to keep them happy. Well I don't do quick anymore...But I don't remember that till it's too late. I'll help the customer (sometimes two at a time) quickly and efficiently but then after they are gone and I have a chance to catch up with myself. I realize that I did too much. I feel faint and weak and tired and like I'm going to throw up....Every time.

So stop going so fast you say? Yeah right! I work retail hell. And Christmas is fast approaching. I work one day a week at a bookstore, in the cafe. And three days a week in a popular national chain toy store...
the toy store and the cafe have both not lived up to my worst memories of Christmas time business yet. But still I'm worn out by helping just a few customers. I love helping people, but it's just sooo exhausting. If I could help people by sitting in a quiet area and be able to go at my own speed that would be awesome...But what kind of job is that???
And am I qualified?

then I feel guilty for being "lazy!" How can sitting around be good for my baby? I've got to get up and move sometimes...When feel better I tell myself. That's been a new saying for me lately...When I feel better I'll do that sink full of dishes....When I feel better I'll get some laundry done so that my husband and I have some clean clothes to wear... When I feel better I'll vacuum.

I haven't felt better in a while. I have good days don't worry about that. I just get tired quickly. I took a nap after taking my dog out this morning.
There are many different causes for my fatigue. One I'm PREGNANT. Pregnant women get tired. One could be a deficiency in some vitamin or mineral...That's possible but I do take my Prenatal vitamins.
One could be hormonal cause...I am pregnant. One could be blood pressure related...Another side effect of pregnancy.

maybe I feel the way I do because I'm pregnant? It's possible. Probably Probable even. Anyway I find myself feeling I think similarly to the way my sister was feeling when she would confide in me...I worry that if I'm tired now and I'm supposed to be tired after the baby is born...how is anything ever going to get done? I assume, I'll work through it. I'll just tough it out.
But that's how I thought I'd deal with all this stuff I've been dealing (or not dealing) with. Therein lies the worry. One things for sure life has changed, as I had expected it to...maybe not the way I expected but still change....and change is good.....

Anyway writing this post is wearing me out. So I'll just do a spell check and go lie down...Again!!

King Kong and crying

So I've noticed in the last few days, that I've cried atleast once every day. Of course I cried when my parents left to go home, I always cry when we separate. I cried again the next day because of a commercial. Then one day I was freaking out about something I don't remember.

We went over to Jessica's apartment to celebrate her engagement to Matt, on Monday, and we watched the original KING KONG. It was hokey and the effects weren't that great by today's standards but very good for the time. I was think it would be funny to watch. But when it got to the part when they shoot him on top of the Empire state building, I was balling.

Just boo hoo-ing!!! I couldn't help it.

There's no way I'm going to see the remake, everytime I see the trailers on TV for it I start to cry.

And just now I wrote the previous post. I was crying that whole time. I know it's due to the hormones, but jeez!!! Oh well, I'm just a basketcase.

JUST CALL ME WICKER!!!

Happy Birthday Grandma!!!

Today is grandma's birthday. I plan on calling her in about an hour... hopefully she'll be in her room, so I can sing Happy Birthday to her.

Just a few words about what a wonderful lady she is:

All my family knows that I lived with Grandma for about 5 years, in which time I went through a lot of changes and dealt with a lot of challenges.
Grandma helped me through a lot of them, perhaps I didn't realize at the time the lessons I learned from her while I was there but really, I think we did a lot for each other.

I know living with her at that time was very instrumental in making me the person I am today. I would never give up that time I had with her, I wish we all lived closer so I could spend more time with her. Grandma if you read this, I love you and miss you and I hope you have a great birthday!!!