Strange Rant

You know, I've known for quite a while now that I'm going to have a baby. I've known for a month that that baby is going to be a boy. It's not just hitting me now that this is all happening to me, I just really thought about it last night.

Travis asked me while we were brushing our teeth, "Is it weird to know you have a human being growing inside you?" I think I said "No, not really" right away. Then I elaborated....I won't regale you on that cause it was garbled by the toothbrush. However, I thought about it more and more after we had crawled into bed and turned out the lights.

I feel like I've been pregnant for a long time, even before I was pregnant. I feel like this is just the way it's supposed to be. I do think it's weird how Jack feels sometimes, like a squirmy alien at times, but other times I know what he's doing.

Being pregnant has been something I've wanted for a loooooong time. No, at first it wasn't what I expected, being sick constantly for a few months was not fun. Even Mom and Paige say they weren't as sick as I was but I wouldn't trade it....Well unless I knew the outcome would be the same.
It feels completely natural for me. I keep thinking about how happy I'll be when Jack is born, I'll tell him I've been waiting and waiting for him for so long.

I'm sure I'll cry. At least I think I will. I thought I'd cry at my wedding but I didn't. I was so happy but still I didn't cry. I felt like we had been married and this was just a performance. Maybe it'll be the same when Jack is born.

I feel more connected to all things now. Maybe that's just my hormones. I felt compelled to buy Diapers the other day. Nesting perhaps?

I'm hungry......